


The moment I lost you (was the moment I lost myself)

by gayheda



Category: The 100 (TV), clexa - Fandom
Genre: Emotional Rollercoaster, F/F, F/M, Happy Ending, I promise, Raven is a genius, and the chip, clarke is a mess, clexa deserves better, jason rottenberg didn't save lexa so raven fucking reyes will, the flame is back
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 09:32:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14615364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayheda/pseuds/gayheda
Summary: After 3x07.Clarke Griffin has lost the love of her life and decides to stay in Polis, refusing to go home and face her people, who are growing restless with the absence of their true leader. Meanwhile Pike is getting out of control, his hatred for the Grounders clouding his judgment. It's clear they need to get rid of the man. Raven, upon seeing everything falling apart around her, goes being a genius once again, saving the day(s).





	The moment I lost you (was the moment I lost myself)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello fellahs.  
> This is my first story/fanfiction, whatever you wanna call it, on Ao3 so please bare with me. Also english is not my first language so if you see any mistakes in grammar or whatever please tell me in the comments so I can correct them. This first chapter will be short, just saying. All in all I hope y'all enjoy this AU that came to my mind. Feedback is always welcome guys. Trigedasleng at the end of the chapter.

Raven Reyes was worried. She was worried for her friend. Clarke hadn't been home in Arkadia for a few days and with the blockade, which the Commander had announced, she was clutching onto the spark of hope that the blonde was well. When Octavia returned alone that day, she was confused, since they were told Clarke would be coming as well. The younger Blake had clearly been frustrated, saying obviously Clarke had abandoned them once again. But deep down even Octavia knew, that something must have prevented their friend from coming home.

The situation in Arkadia had worsened, Pike losing his mind, convinced that 'all Grounders are bad and must die', so they could live in peace. The peace they deserved. But Raven wasn't so sure anymore, if they even did deserve it. And she wasn't the only one that thought so. Bellamy was still unreasonable, his mind clouded by fury and paranoia. He was trapped within the clutches of Pike and she didn't know if he could be saved. She sure hoped so. In the beginning she wasn't exactly fond of the Blake boy, he had been too hard headed, too arrogant. But with time they got closer, his behaviour changed, and she knew he was a good man. Just like she knew now, he was still a good man. He'd been manipulated by their new violent chancellor, who had spotted Bellamy's weakness, using it against him in order to get what he wanted. Bellamy had always just wanted one thing. And that was what was best for his people. To keep them safe. And with Clarke leaving after the defeat, or more precisely the massacre, of Mount Weather, all the responsibility fell upon his shoulders. All in all Raven had hope. Hope that Bellamy would soon come to his senses, because they needed him to get rid of Pike.

The Grounders were still kept prisoners in the holding cell. Octavia had been thrown in as well as soon as Pike had spotted her, claiming she did not belong to the Sky People. Which was bullshit if you asked Raven. She sat at the table in her room, surrounded by the familiar iron walls of the Ark. She couldn't focus on her task at hand, trying to fix a part of her newest experiment. An explosive one, of course. She was deep in thought when suddenly the radio crackled. "Reyes, are you there?", came the muffled voice of none other than Abby Griffin. It had been hard on the doctor, not having her daughter around, not knowing if she was okay or coming back home.

Raven took the radio in her hand and pressed the button before speaking. "What do you need?"

"Have you heard from her?"

She could hear the hesitation in the older womans voice, not wanting to be disappointed again. Ravens heart sunk.

"No, I'm sorry. But I'm sure she's okay, Abby"

 _Lie._ She wasn't sure. Anything could have happend. But that was not what Abby needed to hear. She needed reassurance, or else she would lose her shit.

It was quiet for a while, making Raven think the Doc had left her hanging there. She was about to ask if Abby was okay, when the loud, familiar sounds of wooden horns blasted through the Ark. That must be the army the Commander had ordered to form the blockade. Raven got to her feet and walked outside as fast as she could, with her still troubling leg. Luckily the pain had lessened, even if only a little bit. Outside, the sharp sunlight hit her face with full force, making her squint her eyes. She let them adjust, before taking a look around. Most of the Arkers were standing outside by now, the curiosity at what was going on drawing them out of their holes. She could see Pike, from where she was standing, stomping through the crowd with a murderous look on his face.

 _That is not going to end well_ , she thought, when her eyes cought sight of Abby. She made her way over to the doctor, gently squeezing her shoulder.

„What's going on, Doc?“ she asked.

„I don't know. But Pike is not happy“

„Yeah I saw his face“, she said, before lowering her voice. „We need a plan.“

„Reyes“, Abbys voice sounded wary.

„Abby we can't keep going like this. We need to get rid of him. His obsession with murdering every Grounder is going to get us all killed“, Raven reasoned. „The Grounders are not bad people, they don't deserve this. And neither do we.“

For the first time since Raven appeared next to her, Abby turned her face to look at the young mechanic. She could see that Abby was weighing the options, before nodding slightly. „I know“.

Raven nodded as well, before both their eyes travelled to where Pike was standing at the closed gate, about 8 armed Grounders on the other side of it. They seemed to discuss something. „Let's get closer“, Raven whispered.

Abby following suit behind her, they pushed their way through the mass of people, some of them complaining, „Suck it“, Raven threw over her shoulder every time. When they finally got close enough to understand what was being said, they stopped dead in their tracks, what they heard being enough for both of them to freeze.

„The Commanders passing gives _Skai Kru_ three days to move through the forest as they please, while our warriors join their home to mourn their _Heda_. After, the blockade will be back up. Three days, _moka mokskwoma_.“

The warriors' english was broken but good enough for them to understand. The Commander was dead. That meant the chances of getting rid of Pike were even lower.

Before she could move, Abby was running towards the gates, when the Grounders were about to turn away.

„Wait“ she says loudly, but the Grounders didn't take any interest in her. „Beja!“

That got their attention and the warrior that had been giving up the information about their Commanders' death, turned to look at her curiously.  _Clarke must have taught her that word,_ the mechanic thought.

„What about my daughter? Is Clarke alive?“, the desperation in the Doctors voice was very much present and it made Ravens heart ache once again. She could see the warrior hesitate, before nodding. „Wanheda is well and unharmed“. It was still weird hearing people call her _The Commander of Death_.

Both Abby and Raven let out a breath of relief, they didn't realise they were holding. Clarke was well. She was fine. Tears formed in Abbys eyes and she pushed them back, nodding thankfully. She didn't trust her voice, she was sure it would break. After the Grounders left, the crowd started to dissolve, not one of them really affected by the, in both Ravens and Abbys opinion, harsh news. Lexa had been a good person. She had done everything, given up everything that could have had her live a normal life, just to lead and protect her people. No matter the cost. She was still slightly pissed because of the cuts she had received the day Gustus poisoned the Commanders cup. And for Finn. God, Finn. She still missed him so dearly. But Raven didn't think they were allowed to judge the Commanders ways of protection through violence and _Jus drein Jus daun_ , especially not her and her friends. 

They themselves had gone to drastic measures in order to save their people and the ones they cared about deeply. The things they'd done in order to survive. From the moment they had captured Lincoln on their first few days on earth, to the fight with the Grounders, to when Finn shot 18 people, to Mount Weather, up to the day Pike and his followers had massacred the Commanders army, that had been there not to attack, but rather to protect them. 

She was momentarily wondering how Clarke was doing. She had noticed the way their princess and the Commander looked at each other, talked to each other, carried themselves when around each other. But of course she wasn't sure of anything. She was just hoping Clarke was okay. Not just physically. But really okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think so far I know it's not a lot to go with but it'll help me decide wether to keep going with this story.  
> Thanks for reading peeps <3
> 
> *Trigedasleng*
> 
> Skai Kru : Sky People  
> Heda : Commander  
> Moka Mokskwoma : Mud worm  
> Wanheda : Commander of death  
> Beja : Please  
> Jus drein Jus daun : Blood must have blood


End file.
